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How big is your dick? - Depends on how good you are.
How old are you? - Age=Sex Years=chronological years/# of climaxes per day.
Niner's First Rule of Chess: If you can't do anything else, confuse the issue.
Niner's First Rule of Decorum: Never stand in front of an Exhibitionist.
Niner's First Rule of Cruise: The prettiest ones are the ones who look back.
Niner's Second Rule of Cruise: Make love to everyone in the room with your manner. Thats the rep. you want.
Niner's Third Rule of Cruise: Attitude pulls you back to the stink of shit.
Butch Eggs: Allow eggs to warm to room temperature. Medium (not high) heat in a heavy (I prefer cast iron) small frying pan. Your choice of cooking oil. I use Olive Oil. Crack into pan. Cook until sound of sizzle gets to some occasional sssses. Then flip egg(s) which will still be wet on top and turn off heat. Allow to sit in pan no longer than 2 minutes. Serve with:
Raisin & Nut Oatmeal: Buy the big cardboard tube package. Buy Muscat raisins (wonderful rich flavor). Buy loose Trail Mix of nuts (your choice of mix). Measure very slightly more than 1 cup of water per serving in a saucepan or bowl. Put some loose raisins in water. NO SALT. Add 1/2 cup of oatmeal per serving (match to water measure above) Microwave covered for 3 minutes (per serving measure). Stir. Sprinkle some nuts on top. Microwave uncovered for 30-60 sec, depending on dryness desired. Serve with cold milk. Alternative to nuts: Korean Ginseng. Get it in those little single serving packets. Tear open one packet per serving, and sprinkle on top of the oatmeal fresh from the microwave. It will melt into a brown liquid from the heat. Serve with cold milk.
Radially Sliced Grapefruit: Multiply slice on long axis to wedges, not in half. This allows the grapefruit to warm to room temperature (will taste sweeter) quickly (if refrigerated) and allows those eating to have only or as much as they want. Much more gracious.
Seafood Chili: Follow this recipie. Do it as instructed. You will make hot garbage if you don't. Start with a cast iron stewpot (with heavy lid) that is already seasoned. Not fresh metal. Saute in this pot (all cooking will be done in this single pot), sliced vegetables in this order, in butter or oil: Carrots (cut diag. across a peeled carrot, not strips. Do not use baby carrots. If you don't peel them, they will get a bitter taste, unless organically grown), quartered Yellow or Purple Onions (not white onions), thinly sliced Celery stalk, strip-sliced Red/Yellow/Green Pepper as available, in that preference. Do not overdo the Green Pepper. Celery Leaves (the green & yellow leaves, not the stalk; be generous with this item); optional: quartered Garlic Clove (if you insist), fresh Hot Pepper (advised). Quantity of uncooked sliced vegetables per serving made to = 2 cups per serving. Balance vegetables listed above to preference, but do not exclude any except the optionals. Saute until fragrant (but not more), then reduce heat to simmer. Add 1 reg. can of stewed tomatoes, and 1 small can of tomato paste per serving. Do not use fresh tomatos except the possibility of a few quartered plum or cherry tomatos. Add spices: dried Parsley (some), Hot Pepper (as you wish), Paprika (generously) to taste. Do not add any black pepper or salt. Continue to simmer until small bubbles pool in the center. Add 1 tablespoon of butter per serving. Add seafood to include: Spiced cooked Shrimp (shells on), Mussels (small in-shell ok; if large, shuck 'em., Clams (canned in tomato sauce ok if fresh shucked not avail.). Options: Crab (in the shell or flaked crabmeat) sardines in tomato sauce (don't overdo), flaked cooked mild Fish (don't overdo). Shellfish, esp. Spiced Shrimp and Clams should dominate. continue to simmer about 15 min (not less, and not hotter). Amount and variety of shellfish/fish depends on volume and budget. 5 min. before serving, gently stir in 1/2 can of cooked Red Kidney Beans per serving. Save the bean liquor to use as addition to leftover chili, but don't add unless the chili thickens. Don't use white beans, or pinto beans. Put a lid on pot, and turn heat off after 2 minutes. Do not stir again until serving. Black pepper should be the only available spice on the table. May be served over white rice if not in a bowl with flaky white crackers. A New York Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese makes a nice addition, in generous slices. Don't add it to the Seafood Chili, it will hide flavor. After all service, remove any remaining contents from pot before refrigerating. Store in glass, stainless or plastic, not in cast iron. Reheat leftovers in microwave, in wide, flat bowl or soup plate, with a minimum of stiring.
2 guys were standing on the sidewalk, watching a dog laying before them lick his cock & balls.
1st guy says: "Man, I wish I could do that"
2nd guy answers with rising inflection: "Man, that dog'll bite you!"
How To Wear Your Loose At The Dinnertable
Or my favorite, in a Restaurant. Open your loose under the table. You are there to be comfortable, right?
Opening your pants should be as easy and comfortable as having the button(s) on your shirt open.
The other scribble suggests what you could have in your right hand:
I conceived of this as a photograph. Photos under a table could be an interesting series.
Givin' 'Em The Hole
A sketch of a gesture that might be used for social editorial purposes: When you are in a group where you find yourself with some disdain for whats going on, or being said, you can do this. Make a diamond shape with your hands over your crotch. You are gesturing as if showing THEM a fuckhole, like a butthole or an open mouth.
Or in a cruise situation, you can think of it as offering dick services to that hot guy who is watching you. Might be nice cum-on. Like, its ok to say hi.
Bottom line message: cut the crap, get down to it.
Positive intent is how I take 'em, but sometimes ya just gotta process the message.
Notes about:
The Zen of Buttering Your Bread
Goey chewey bread. Whole grain of some kind of course.
Um Yum.
Toasted.
Half peanut butter, crunchy grind, no salt.
Other half: unfold butter quarter onto it, right away from the toaster. Let it rest on the hot toasted bread while you spread around the peanut butter half. When ready, pick up the butter quarter, peel of the top 3/32" in one big curl. transfer this curl back onto the bread part it came from, and uncurl back down. Pick a jam flavor. My fave at the moment is strawberry homade, from Pennsylvania. Its 3-4 years old. Stir to soften. Spread that butter patty around to a light, thick foam. Add generous jam.
Play.
Eat.
See little animal shapes in the bitten part. Make cats, foxes, space animals in the lumps & swells of jam and butterfoam.
The secret is method, with message emergent.